The Basin Report

Guilt Written On Face – ‘B LIC’ Award

Carroll, IA – The ‘B’ Least Intelligent Criminal Award for this week goes to Matthew Allan McNelly (23) and Joey Lee Miller (20).  The Carroll Police say guilt was written all over their faces.

Police received a call that two men with hooded sweatshirts and painted faces had tried to break into a man’s home in Carroll, Iowa.  When police stopped a vehicle at gunpoint matching the caller’s description, a big white 1994 Buick Roadmaster, they were stunned by the men’s disguises.  There were no ski masks or stockings pulled over their heads.  Instead, the two would-be burglars, Matthew Allan McNelly and Joey Lee Miller, scribbled on their faces with a Sharpie permanent black marker.

Carroll Police Chief Cayler said police believe one of the alleged burglars was trying to break into an apartment because he suspected his girlfriend had a relationship with the man who lived there. “I’ve seen a lot of things that make me laugh and weird things but this was probably the best combination of the two. They probably were just not thinking straight and figured we’ll go out and scare the guy or whatever.”

Both men were charged with attempted second-degree burglary, and McNelly was charged additionally with operating a vehicle while intoxicated,  Cayler added, “I’ve been chief here almost 25 years, and I’ve seen a lot of things that make me laugh and weird things, but this was probably the best combination of the two – strangely weird and hilariously funny all at the same time.”

Since the arrest, Carroll County judge Christopher Polking has dismissed the attempted burglary charges.  Until the markings can wear off, the two will most assuredly still be identifiable in public.  It is rumored that McNelly was also recently turned down by the KISS Army.  For their brilliant thoughts of disguise, McNelly and Miller are our “Least Intelligent Criminals” award winners.

 

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